The Boy With the Broken Smile
by AtLoLevad
Summary: After Erin runs off after Yates, Jay has finally had enough of her broken promises.


"No."

"No?" Erin repeated, confused. "What do you mean 'no'?"

Jay sighed, a crease forming in between his eyebrows. "I mean, no, Lindsay."

The use of her last name wasn't lost on Erin.

"I won't come over tonight," Jay continued. "I don't think I'll come over tomorrow night or the next or the next either."

Erin shook her head, "Jay? What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, this?" He waved his hand in the air between them. "This, whatever the fuck this has been, is over. I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

He hadn't yelled or snapped, in fact his tone was calm, but tears immediately welled up in Erin's eyes. "Jay..."

Her partner held his hand up to stop her, "And I'm telling Voight that I want a partner change. I'm sick of you running off without back up. I can't have your back if you refuse help. It feels like I'm babysitting you sometimes."

"Jay, you can't!" Erin exclaimed, feeling panic rise in her chest. "We're supposed to be partners. I thought we were giving us a second go?"

She was feeling raw and exposed from her dealings with Yates and the memories of Nadia's death and her own spiral. This was the last thing she needed in her life.

Jay was her constant. Her rock. The one person she knew would be there for her.

"That's exactly it!" Jay snapped, not worried about who might hear them. He was too pissed. "We *were* partners. You fucking promised that you wouldn't go anywhere without back up again. But, God! Of course I shouldn't have believed you."

He scowled, "You ran into a goddam forest in the rain and pitch black to chase Yates, Lindsay! Tell me that you don't see anything wrong with that?"

She opened her mouth slightly to defend herself, but Jay steamrolled over her.

"Of course you don't," he laughed darkly. "You don't have any impulse control."

He sucked in a breath and calmed down a little, "I'm tired of it, Erin. I'm tired of worrying about you. I'm tired of thinking you'll change. You've been messed up since Nadia, and I *understand* that. But you need to get help."

Erin narrowed her eyes. She went on the defensive, "If you're so fucking tired of me," she spat, "then why do you keep coming to my place for a fuck?"

"Because I thought you were getting better," Jay snapped back. "You were into it. I thought we were going to be in a relationship. A real one this time."

She snapped her mouth shut, formulating her next argument. Erin didn't want to admit that she had made a mistake. It didn't seem to matter though; Jay knew her better than she knew herself sometimes.

Jay scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Look, I love you Erin. I really do. But I can't do this anymore. You promised me you wouldn't be reckless anymore and you broke that promise."

"I'm sor-" Erin started to say.

"No," Jay barked, causing Erin to startle. "Don't say you're sorry. We both know you don't mean it."

He stood up and snatched his jacket off the back of his chair. He looked tired and drawn. Something tugged at Erin's heart when she realized that worrying about her was probably what caused Jay to look so tired. For that, she felt bad.

"Jay!" She called after him as he started down the stairs. She could see his shoulders tense when he stopped, but he turned partially and raised an eyebrow.

She opened her mouth, but shut it again. She didn't have anything to say that wouldn't sound like an excuse.

Jay's smile looked brittle and broken. "That's what I thought. Call me when the real Erin Lindsay is back."

He jogged down the steps, as if he couldn't wait to get away from her. Erin sunk her head into her hands, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

How had it all gone so wrong?

How had Jay, the rock, the steady one, become so angry with her?

How had she let it happen?

How was she going to fix it?

Erin lifted her head and wiped her eyes. Her jaw set determinedly, she gathered her bag and jacket. Erin needed a plan, and she needed someone who wasn't too close to the situation.

She was glad that Olivia was still in town.

* * *

 _A/N: So, this has been written for like two weeks, only I forgot to post it lol. Um, i basically wanted to write something where Jay got mad at Erin for breaking promises and going without backup (again). I'm not sure how much I like it, since it doesn't really fit anywhere with canon, but i'm posting it._

 _Drop me a review and let me know what you think?_

 _(Also, please don't ask me if I'm going to continue this. I won't be. Thanks!)_


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